Confession of a young granddaughter of not so young grandmother
It just occurred to me that am so blessed to have my grandmother. Today's generation is so absorbed in their daily shits that we don't even value the things we have got in life. Gone are the days when kids used to spend whole summer vacations at their granny's (as for me). Everything has changed into sugar coated formalities.
I just realized that I rarely interact with my nani (highlighting the fact that she is the only grandparent god has spared me with). It has been years that I have had any real conversation concerning her life, her problems and her experiences. It is not that I don't care enough. And I am actually very overwhelmed with the fact that she is breathing under the same sky as I am. But still! Where is the love and faith I should be having for her? I always get flashbacks of the time when I was a little girl. Look at the transformation. Am I really that girl who used to get so much excited even if she just hears nani's voice over phone! And now I hardly visit her. My grandmother has actually accepted her seclusion with resignation. She does not ask for attention (as nothing good asks for it). She just is like any old encyclopedia which is opened when needed. Despite the fact, that old encyclopedia is happy and satisfied with its occasional use.
I respect her alot. Why wouldn't I? She gave birth to my mother and then my mother raised me and when the time will come I will give life to a new generation! But Is this all? Are we just carriers of some DNA providing genes? I have to say this. But I pity my granny. And I pity her condition. And I pity everyone alive (even the microorganisms).
We are nothing but just ignorant primates who are unaware of OBLIVION. When we are young everything looks like a chocolate factory. But then we grow. And reality strikes us and world seems to be this never ending marathon. Many have this illusion and see luxuries, money and all the materialistic things as the finish. But now I know what the real end is. It is death for which sometime we all will be just sitting somewhere and waiting for it to come and free us.
Nevertheless coming back to the former thought. I wish I had a genie (i could have used the word time machine but we girls will never come out of our fairytale world). So I can reverse the time and spend a little more time with her when I was a kid, when I was innocent and when I was untouched by these formalities. And today I confess that I don't think I love my grandmother the way she does. I am just an ungrateful spoiled teenager who takes her grandma for granted!